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Your Opinion Please

Discussion in 'General' started by avguste, May 12, 2009.

  1. avguste

    avguste Member Piano Society Artist

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2006
    Messages:
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    Occupation:
    concert pianist,piano teacher
    Location:
    Texas,USA
    Home Page:
    Last Name:
    Antanov
    First Name:
    Avguste
    WEBSITE:
    http://www.avgusteantonov.com
    WLM:
    kcchiefs20@hotmail.com
    YAHOO:
    loveroyals
    AOL:
    Avguste
    LOCATION:
    Texas,USA
    Hey all

    I would like to ask your opinion on my bio.I am trying to make it more compact.In addition,I am also wondering if I should my full name,first name or Mr

    The bio can be found at http://www.avgusteantonov.com/bio.html

    Thanks
     
  2. juufa72

    juufa72 New Member Piano Society Artist

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Obamanation, unfortunately...
    Last Name:
    Grocholski
    First Name:
    Julius
    LOCATION:
    Obamanation, unfortunately...
    "Following his stay in Bordeaux, Mr Antonov followed his parents to the United States"

    Add a period after the "Mr".

    ----------

    Add a space between every parenthesis and preceding words. Example: Normale de Paris(1989-1990)
    It should be Normale de Paris (1989-1990)

    -------

    As soloist, Mr Antonov has performed Liszt 2nd Piano Concerto with the...

    Correction:
    "As a soloist, Mr. Antonov has performed Liszt's 2nd Piano Concerto...."

    --------------
    He has also performed recitals in Bordeaux(France),Kansas,Iowa,Missouri.

    I think you can remove "(France)" because Bordeaux is widely known to be in France. Also make sure you add a space after every comma: ...Bordeaux, Kansas, Iowa, and Missouri.

    -----------
    Carter Pann,John Mackey, Raina Murnak,John Arrigo-Nelson and many others.

    Again, add spaces between the comma and the names.

    --------

    Just a couple of minor errors to be fixed.
     
  3. avguste

    avguste Member Piano Society Artist

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2006
    Messages:
    283
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    Occupation:
    concert pianist,piano teacher
    Location:
    Texas,USA
    Home Page:
    Last Name:
    Antanov
    First Name:
    Avguste
    WEBSITE:
    http://www.avgusteantonov.com
    WLM:
    kcchiefs20@hotmail.com
    YAHOO:
    loveroyals
    AOL:
    Avguste
    LOCATION:
    Texas,USA
    Thanks,I will make sure to correct that.
    I am basically starting this week to rework on my site and hopefully make it more compact and easy to read/access.
    Any further opinions are more than welcome

    Thanks
     
  4. Terez

    Terez New Member

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    Occupation:
    Student
    Location:
    Gulfport, MS, USA
    WLM:
    terez2727@hotmail.com
    AOL:
    terez2727
    LOCATION:
    Gulfport, MS, USA
    I don't think it's too long as it is, but if you'd like it shortened some more, I can use my English whiz skills to make it shorter without actually changing anything you said. Also, you should put spaces between the parentheses and the words that come before and after them (unless it's punctuation after - then no space). Like so. It looks kind of sloppy otherwise.
     
  5. avguste

    avguste Member Piano Society Artist

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2006
    Messages:
    283
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    0
    Occupation:
    concert pianist,piano teacher
    Location:
    Texas,USA
    Home Page:
    Last Name:
    Antanov
    First Name:
    Avguste
    WEBSITE:
    http://www.avgusteantonov.com
    WLM:
    kcchiefs20@hotmail.com
    YAHOO:
    loveroyals
    AOL:
    Avguste
    LOCATION:
    Texas,USA
    I would love to see what you can come up with :)

    But to be honest,i wasnt really talking about the bio.I was more referring to the full site.Maybe combine a few pages?
     

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