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Two Compositions

Discussion in 'Composing' started by In-Flight Piano, May 15, 2012.

  1. In-Flight Piano

    In-Flight Piano New Member

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    Hi everyone,
    I hope all of you are doing well. I am relatively new to composing; I started writing songs a year ago. Here are two of my compositions. I look forward to your feedback!


    Have a good day,
    Samuel Chetty
     
  2. EmperorCQX

    EmperorCQX New Member

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    Good day,

    i enjoyed it :)! Are you influenced by medieval music? Because i'd heard some of phrases are of a different mode, not too much renaissance but medieval and a recitative feel to it :)!

    Are these your first attempts???
     
  3. In-Flight Piano

    In-Flight Piano New Member

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    Hi Emperor,

    I'm glad you liked it. It's interesting that you think they sound Medieval; I'm not familiar with that style. I originally composed Victory of the Ages a year ago, but I did a major renovation in late 2011. Rondo in b minor is my fifth and newest composition.
     
  4. In-Flight Piano

    In-Flight Piano New Member

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    If anyone else has feedback on these compositions, I would like to know. I'm tough; I can take criticism. Based on the reception here, I will decide whether to upload them on my Youtube channel.

    Thanks,
    Samuel
     
  5. techneut

    techneut Active Member Piano Society Artist

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    The first thing that strikes me is that you have an incredibly heave pedal foot. Much of the music, especially the Rondo, is thus lost in pedal soup. I don't remember your normal classical recordings being like this. Being your own composer does not imply you can keep your foot down all the way :)

    As to the compositions, I find them mildly pleasing but rather bland. It's not clear where they want to go, the Rondo just stops dead in its tracks, I believe every piece should have a proper ending. Some of the harmonic turns seem a bit trite (I seem to write this same sentence about many homegrown compositions posted here :roll: ). But there are also nice ideas, I like some of the archaic modulations in the Victory. The victory becomes rather hollow in the end though, piling up ever bigger chords and ending on a silly little closing arpeggio. Not very convincing !
    Alas I cannot tell you how to improve composing, only what I like or don't like, which is very personal.
     
  6. In-Flight Piano

    In-Flight Piano New Member

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    Hi Chris,
    Thanks for your feedback. I really need to get a piano of my own that sounds good on recording. I was recording these pieces on someone's else's piano which has a very heavy pedal that I have never been proficient at using. From now on, if I'll be using petal, I'll use a different piano.
    As for the Victory sounding hollow at the end due to giant chords, I am glad that you commented about this because I too was a bit concerned about it, but I thought maybe I was just getting obsessed with my own work. But now that you have the same concern, I'll work on the ending some more. Maybe the ending of the song could speak for itself without a forced climax.
    The Rondo does kind of stop in its tracks. But, I see this piece as more of a "structured improvisation" as opposed to a full composition in the first place.

    Thank you for your comments,
    Samuel
     
  7. RSPIll

    RSPIll New Member

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    Hi Samuel,

    I've listened to your pieces. You have some very good ideas for the use and structure of your musical materials. So, I want to encourage you to continue writing new music and analyze and study the music of the great composers to try to figure out how they put their ideas together and why the may have made certain choices for a particular piece.

    Your "Victory of the Ages" sounds rather like a series of variations on your opening theme that grows towards the final outcome. Overall, It has a good build from its rather calm and quiet beginning to its great build up at the end. I must agree with Chris that that final filigree is anti-climactic and totally un-necessary.

    You might want to rethink some of the harmonies in the very beginning. The third harmony dues not fit well. There are a few other times that a chord seems a little uncomfortable.

    Around 1:50, there is a tempo change to a slower tempo that seems a little random jarring. Not that there is anything wrong with having a tempo change in the middle, but this one does not feel organic to the piece. Such a change marks a point of formal structure, indicating that one section has ended and a new section is beginning.

    Very often a sudden slower tempo is actually preceded by quickening of pace that leaves the listener feeling breathless, a sudden stop (particularly on V) and then the new tempo. (The reverse is often done for a sudden change to a faster tempo.)

    But all and all a good solid beginning to your composing career.

    The "Rondo in b minor" does have some issues. First it is not really a rondo. The word is derived from the Italian words "rondo" and "rondel" which translates roughly to "round" or "little round". In this case, it is not the "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" type, but rather it indicates a regular return to the initial theme. Thus the final theme heard needs to be all or part of the original theme to "round out" the movement.

    There are two basic types of Rondo. The first is AB AC...A, where between each A is a new theme. These themes are in keys other than tonic. The other type is the so called "Sonata Rondo" which is a sort of cross between "Sonata Form" and "Rondo". Its form is generally ABA/C/ABA where the initial AB(A) acts as the exposition, with key centers on Tonic and Dominant (the second A may act as part of this exposition or may be part of the next section. The C section often acts as the development and may explore numerous non-tonic keys. The final ABA acts as the recapitulation, but this time both themes are in tonic (as in the regular sonata form.)

    Your rondo comes out as somewhat A B A B B. For it to be a rondo, you would need to replace your second B with another contrasting idea and at the very least end with A.

    As Chris pointed out, there is way too much pedal.

    Overall these are reasonable early attempts at creating music and you will continue to grow the more you compose.

    I hope this gives you some ideas that can help you in the future.

    Scott
     

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