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Puzzles, Jokes, Anecdotes, and Thoughts

Discussion in 'General' started by pianolady, Dec 14, 2007.

  1. techneut

    techneut Active Member Piano Society Artist

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    I think nowadays you can buy a coffin with wifi so that if you should happen to wake up from the dead you can notify the undertaker online (and in the meantime watch Youtube or something) :mrgreen:
     
  2. pianoman342

    pianoman342 Member Piano Society Artist Trusted Member

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    :lol:

    Daughter of Father reads will: I'll take the deluxe casket with a built-in router (1 month subscription to broadband) and Ipad.

    Daughter calls funeral company: Do you have any caskets with wifi in stock?

    Funeral company assc.: no, sorry. We're out of those--too many people who we thought were dead woke up... they were asking for refunds...

    Daughter: Oh, I see. Do you have anything else?

    Funeral company assoc: Yeah, we've got the delux oak casket that plays the 3rd mvt. of Chopin's piano sonata no.2 (opus 35) continuosly on loop. Would you like that?

    Daughter: Yes, one of those, please.
     
  3. techneut

    techneut Active Member Piano Society Artist

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    Haha good one :lol: Reads like a Monty Python sketch.
     
  4. pianoman342

    pianoman342 Member Piano Society Artist Trusted Member

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    Thx, just building on yours :lol: I LOVE Month Python. Best show on the BBC (of course it was before my time, but they rerun it)! And their movies I've seen, The Holy Grail, Life of Brian.
     
  5. rsmullyan

    rsmullyan New Member Piano Society Artist

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    I just came across two delightful incidents: In one chapter on Richard Wagner, the author says: " The marriage of Wagner and

    Cosima was a happy one. They had a common interest. They both adored Richard Wagner.. "


    The other is about Brahms. Upon leaving a party, he said: " If I have neglected to insult any one, I beg him to forgive my oversight ! ".
     
  6. techneut

    techneut Active Member Piano Society Artist

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    I knew the one about Brahms. The Wagner joke is priceless. I love a biographer who can take the mickey of his subject.
     
  7. pianolady

    pianolady Monica Hart, Administrator Staff Member Piano Society Artist Trusted Member

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    Hi Raymond :)
     
  8. pianoman342

    pianoman342 Member Piano Society Artist Trusted Member

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    That's a good one Raymond! I must add another composer who was... an egomaniac... so to speak. (I'll let you judge that for yourself :p )

    He said,

    "I have made a discovery [twelve-tone composition] which will ensure the supremacy of German music for the next 200 years."

    Who was he?
     
  9. pianolady

    pianolady Monica Hart, Administrator Staff Member Piano Society Artist Trusted Member

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    I'll guess Schoenberg??
     
  10. pianoman342

    pianoman342 Member Piano Society Artist Trusted Member

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    Right you are!

    Or as his surname's sometimes written:

    Schönberg
     
  11. rsmullyan

    rsmullyan New Member Piano Society Artist

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    Some time ago I heard the joke about a young man who said to an old man," You look remarkably healthy

    for a man your age. What is your secret?" The older one replied," It's because I never argue." The younger

    man replied, " Oh, I bet you sometimes argue!" The older one replied, Maybe you're right ! "


    I then thought of the following variant (which in mathematics might be called a "duel" version" ) : A man said

    to another," I think it's alright to sometimes argue" The other replied," I disagree! "
     
  12. pianoman342

    pianoman342 Member Piano Society Artist Trusted Member

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    That's a good one Raymond. Interesting duel, though I've always thought of the term in regards to two people shooting guns at one another! :shock: The duel that you describe sounds rather harmless! :lol:

    Here is a riddle, thought of this one yesterday. Why is C the best note in music?
     
  13. rsmullyan

    rsmullyan New Member Piano Society Artist

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    I give up!
     
  14. pianoman342

    pianoman342 Member Piano Society Artist Trusted Member

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    I'm surprised you wouldn't get this one Raymond, I thought you were the master of logic! :wink:

    C is the only music note (ABCDEFG) represented in the word music!
     
  15. pianolady

    pianolady Monica Hart, Administrator Staff Member Piano Society Artist Trusted Member

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    Good one, Riley! :)
    Yours was good too, Raymond, even though I don't quite get it. I think I read too much into these, and then I get confused....
     
  16. rsmullyan

    rsmullyan New Member Piano Society Artist

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    KNOW YOUR OPERAS

    1--What opera is about a badly beaten up wife?

    2---What opera is about parking attendants ?

    3--What opera is about an enchanted unlikely event?

    4---What opera is about a pig's treasure?

    5---What opera is about amphibians at dusk time?

    6---What opera is about a man who is sufficiently good?

    7---What opera is about a French beef steak?

    8---What opera is subject to a dyslexic misreading ?

    9---What opera is about part of an elephant ?

    10--What opera is about a treasure that belongs to me ?

    11--What opera is about clowns, bows and arrows?

    ANSWERS

    1--The Battered Bride.

    2--Car Men.

    3--The Magic Fluke.

    4--Das Swine Gold.

    5--Twilight of the Frogs.

    6--Boris Good Enough.

    7--Filet Mignon.

    8--Twilight of the Dogs.

    9--Tuska.

    10-Das Mine Gold

    11-Pagli Archery.
     
  17. pianolady

    pianolady Monica Hart, Administrator Staff Member Piano Society Artist Trusted Member

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    the Magic Fluke.....hahaha
     
  18. pianoman342

    pianoman342 Member Piano Society Artist Trusted Member

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    There were two identical twins, one was named Seesharp, the other, Deeflat. Sometimes Seesharp would walk to their grandparents cottage that was 6 miles away up on a hill. Though it was small, you could see the grandparents house from where they lived. One weekend, the twin brothers' mother sent Seesharp to his grandparents house. Seesharp was instructed to go there, and if the grandparents were good and well, then simply to enjoy their company and return home at the end of the weekend. If however their grandparents were unwell, then he should wave his arms outside the house just as the sun set on Saturday. Deeflat's job was to check to see his brother did this or did not. As scheduled, Seesharp made his way to his grandparents place. On Saturday, a great fog befell the countryside. Deeflat looked to the hill to find his brother. Deeflat couldn't see anything. When he returned to his mother and father who demanded an explanation for the expression of bewilderment that rent his face, he said the following:

    I couldn't see sharp!

    :lol:
     
  19. pianolady

    pianolady Monica Hart, Administrator Staff Member Piano Society Artist Trusted Member

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    Not bad...I'll give that joke a one-thumb up. :)

    I heard another joke this weekend that cracked me up. Here it is....

    *********************************************************

    I was traveling back to my hometown and, responding to Mother Nature, decided to stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road.

    I went into the washroom. The first stall was taken, so I went into the second stall. I had just sat down when I heard a voice from the other stall.

    "Hi there, how is it going?"

    I am not the type to strike up conversations with strangers while sitting on the john in restrooms on the side of the road. I didn't know what to do, but finally I said, "Not bad."

    Then the voice said, "So, what are you doing?"

    At this point, I was starting to find the situation a bit weird, but I said, "Well, I'm just sitting here."

    Voice from the other stall, "So, can I come over?"

    Now I'm getting nervous and a bit worried. But decided I have to put a stop to this and so I said, "I'm a little busy right now. No you may not!

    Then I heard the person, all flustered, say, "Look, I'll call you back. Every time I ask you a question, the idiot in the next stall keeps answering me!!!"

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  20. rainer

    rainer New Member

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    I thought this was going to turn out to be a temperament joke.
    Everyone knows that Ceesharp and Deeflat simply aren't identical.
    Anyone who thinks otherwise must be ... (wait for it) ... comma-tose.
     

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