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Prelude Scene at the lake

Discussion in 'Composing' started by david_b, Jan 28, 2010.

  1. david_b

    david_b New Member

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    I wrote this piece as a prelude to describing a scene at the lake (for Piano)....Please have a listen here

    prelude_Scene at the Lake

    Sheet Music for the piece can be viewed by following this link
    SheetMusic_Scene at the Lake

    Thanks for listening....appreciate ur comments
     
  2. RSPIll

    RSPIll New Member

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    Church Musician, Choral Accompanist, Musical Theat
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    David,

    I've listened to your piece a couple of times. It has interesting possibilities.

    First, I must recommend that you re-record it. The noise is not only annoying, but to have enough volume to hear the subtle piano dynamics, it becomes painful.

    You have create an initial theme that is ripe with possibilities. This angular, descending theme has the potential of several motifs for development. The dissonant dim. 5th and dim. 7th add interesting tension. The second theme, ascending and stepwise, is a reasonable contrast to the first.

    As your piece stands, it seems incomplete and disconnected.

    The first 16 measures, with some additional development, could possibly stand as an entire piece. Your middle section (mm. 7 - 13) could at least go through at least 3 tonal areas, each one adding to the tension before the return of the initial statement. The return to the initial statement could then possibly be expanded a touch to allow for a complete release of tension.

    The second section (mm 17 to end), with its more serene stepwise melody, seems to me to belong to a piece in ternary (ABA) form and not binary (AB). As it stands, this section is somewhat acting as a coda, but the first section is neither long enough nor developed enough to require a coda that is nearly the same length.

    One consideration, purely non-musical, to consider is when you first present a piece, avoid presenting it with a programtic title (even though you potentially intend to use it.) A program title can prejudice the listener before even the first note is heard. "A scene at the lake" depends on my experiences with lakes and if I immediately picture my lake experience, then your lake experience may not fit. At least at first consider just the generic "Prelude" and add the other later.

    Remember, just like writing a novel or an essay, composition is as much about editing and re-writing as it is about writing. Keep up working on the art and craft of composing.

    Scott
     
  3. david_b

    david_b New Member

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    Appreciate your comments Scott....All good points....
    I will try to re-record this piece without the noise and post it here, as to the piece itself, I did write very many contrasting sections but removed it from the recording to keep it simple, my re-recording will include all the sections for the piece and of course wont be much of a prelude anyway.

    Thanks
    David
     
  4. techneut

    techneut Active Member Piano Society Artist

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    Chris
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    I listened earlier but forgot to comment. My observations were the same as Scott's, though not in so much detail.

    Good potential, both in themes and textures, but insufficient development, and indeed the piece doesn't live up to its name. Yes it may be better to avoid all too descriptive titles until you can actually evoke the atmosphere properly. That noise is certainly distracting.
     

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