This is how it all started... These were your thoughts, two months ago. It's not just me here, I am sure I speak on everybody's behalf in stating that what you're experiencing is normal as the time approaches. You've taken on a big challenge. Make amends with any negativity that comes your way by simply denouncing it with a smile! I am going to use the content of your signature to remind you of the only reality that should linger in your mind over this entire experience. Your signature sums up your beliefs about the good intentions and musical inspiration, well before this competition came along. Don't take my word for it, listen to your muse. The context here is still appropriate, "It is dreadful when something weighs in on your mind, not to have a soul to unburden yourself to." - So stop looking online to see who will be playing, never mind if you're playing 9th, never mind if someone plays a more difficult piece, etc..... Allow only the musical sentiments to come forth on stage by "telling the piano on stage the things you used to tell in your living room..." - Live vicariously through the composer's music on that stage piano, because you can't address to anybody else. It's just you, the piano, and the message. Just play it because it's not about winning, as we both agree. Both the audience and judges will love you for how you play, not for what you play. Nobody, can fault you for keeping your musical ambitions high. All that should linger in your mind is to make your musical message soar to the best of your ability. I will part with this Les Brown quote: Shoot for the moon; even if you miss you'll be among the stars... And what a sight that will be!