10...your manicurist has a restraining order against you.
9...you haven't got tennis elbow but rather "damper pedal ankle."
8...you have recurring nightmares of scales, chords, and arpeggios; OH MY!
7...hearing "Fur Elise" just one more time could be grounds for that insanity defense thing.
6...you get dirty looks when you refer to Fantasie Impromptu as "not THAT hard
5...your family stages an intervention because your leather bench smells like rotten Gorgonzola.
4...the neighbors now open
their windows to hear you practice! You're flattered but they've actually developed Stockholm Syndrome.
3...when relatives' kids visit, they're more interested in watching you play than putting their damned greasy hand prints all over the bass strings; also the mousetraps seem to help.
2...local songbirds go on strike.
And the number one way you know you're a bona fide pianist:
1...the idea of getting padded butt implants doesn't sound completely