A good performance, Richard. I too know the frustration of trying to get a beautiful sound out of an old upright that has seen better days
I tend to agree with the other commenters. Technically it's good, aside a couple of rhythm slips and whatever happened in that lower octave--it does sound like you split a note there, which is easy to do, although it might have been a recording glitch. The thing that detracts from it as a performance is that it's a bit too metronomic. Others have given you better advice than I could on that score, so I won't insult you by going over it again. I look forward to hearing your revised take.